long long long holiday

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.


Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.


Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone..

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.


Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

been having my own time doing things i like
lego
pictures
friends
bikecycles
<3

Never worry about the next day cause it will forever be a mystery

The strangers lies

well u still come back here uh.
thats great,
u`re still believing n the lies u made up.
she has a bf.
the trust isn`t there.
trusted someone else.
jus disappointed over u.
Thats all,
i don`t really need u in my life.
One day u`ll realise.
keep that in your mind.


Finally passed my car threoy,
wheez.
i`m happy.
i text alot ppl?
its mass msges to friends weekly monthly?
u wouldn`t trust me anyway.
suit yourself.
its saddening,
i`ve got my friends here with me,
all the best to u tc.

Sweet tales of last summer

well,
had been neglecting school for awhile,
exam is coming,
nothing is going into my head.
Yet so much relationship problems,
maybe thats single life buzy with girls.
single life has been pretty awesome.
Tifa is one of a kind slenger,
wonder why girls i hit on are so weird.

Went pulau Ubin ytd with OAC bunch,
its pretty great,
and last 7 survivors went cycling,
it a wet day but it turned out fun.
and went to changi had dinner and headed back.
Pulau Ubin is a very peaceful place.
should be there more often.
did alot of reflection during free time,
therefore,i was quiet.

Days are getting better without her,
not that she sucks,
i do still care not just about her but her family,
idk why .
i`m worried about tt little rascal ha!
u got a bf now but remember what i told u uh.

(just some tots in my mind which seems true*)
said that i was ur best bf?
said that it was ur worst relationship.
Said that u love me?
Went off with another guy.
Said that he was ur friend?
you fell for him.
You trust me?
you trust him more.
A girl like u doesn`t really have an impact on me.
say when u were with me u don`t contact other guys?
So...when u were with ur other ex...u contacted other guys?
a leopard will never changes its spots.
ur friends doesn`t trust me?
u made them not to.
If only u told me u liked someone else,
i`d just let u go as long as u`re happy.
Don`t need to make up stories and make me sound like an asshole.


I wish u all the best,
ur 'n' levels
happy birthday in advance.
u wan ur stuff back?
come get it or i`ll just meet rascal.

Call my hair bangs

Beginning to love tt hair of mine.
its simply Moddish,
Derick the great.
Met Tifa she is sweet.
i like the way she looks.
din get to meet Dirah she went wid Cameloo.
Lets just say Tifa was my childhood crush.
hahaha living under the same roof for more than 10 years?
its the first time i talked to her.
=p i like.

Tifafafafa<3
lets take a plane tomorrow.